Tag Archives: Parenting

Parenting – 5 Reasons Why Children Misbehave

Children misbehave for a reason and once we understand what that reason is, we’re that much closer to finding a solution to deal with it. Here is a list of some of the most common reasons children misbehave:

1. ATTENTION

Everyone has a basic need to be noticed. If children feel they’re not being noticed they’ll find a way to get our attention and usually acting out is the easiest way. Negative attention is better than nothing. If we’re going about our day, doing our own thing and suddenly we notice our child is off limits in some way, we stop what we’re doing and try and get them to stop. It worked. They got our attention.

2. NEED FOR POWER OR CONTROL

Apart from attention, we also have a basic need to feel we have power and control in our lives. If we don’t feel we have it, we find ways to get it. Children will say “no” just to gain control or they’ll do the opposite of what we’ve asked them to do, for the same reason. They’ll argue with us. They’ll get into a power struggle. If they sense their day is being completely orchestrated by someone else, they’ll find a way to gain back some control.

3. UNCLEAR BOUNDARIES

If children don’t know how far they can go or if rules are vague and inconsistent, many will test to find out exactly where the boundaries are. There is a conversation in their head that goes something like this: “I wonder if I do this, I’ll get into trouble” or “The last time I did this, no one said anything. I think I’ll try it again and see what happens” or “I’m not sure what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m going to find out for myself.”

4. ANGER AND HOSTILITY IN THE HOME

Children are extremely sensitive to everything going on around them. If parents are continually fighting in front of their kids or the tension is so intense it can be felt by everyone, all those feelings are picked up. They will also pick up if we’re distracted by something that is bothering us. It makes children feel insecure and fearful. Those feelings translate into anger. Their hostile behaviour may be a direct reflection of what they’re picking up at home.

5. PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT

Young children will act out when they’re tired or hungry. Many older children will as well but they’re better able to recognize the signs. It’s very easy to over-stimulate a young child by doing too many activities in one day. They can get into a state of stimulation overload which makes most people, including children, irritable. Some can handle more activities than others so it’s important to know your child’s threshold.

Parenting Adult Children Today

Was it stressful sometimes having to change dirty diapers almost every two hours? It even worsened when your beloved child became a teenager; he or she used to be rebellious and gave you sleepless nights. Time flew by and now your “child” has grown into an adult. What happens when you realize he or she is making a serious mistake? Will you scold him/her like the teenager you used to have? I am certain this will ruin your cordial relationship with him/her.

Everybody wishes to have his/her adult child as their best friend, but this will not come easy, unless you recognize their status as adults and also learn to treat them with the same level of respect you will give to other adults. This will definitely strengthen the bond between you two. Now your child is ready to settle down but his/her choice of spouse makes you want to force some sense into their heads, so how do you handle such a situation? You may try to talk with your child about your concerns but please try to maintain a respectful tone to avoid seeing your own blood rebel against you! If talking it out with them will not help then you will have to accept the bitter reality, and just accept and respect the spouse.

Visiting your children at their homes will definitely put smiles on their faces, “your presence is more important than your presents”… but you will also have to inform them of your visit. This will definitely create a good environment between you and your child`s family. Making surprise visits may seem fun but also keep in mind that your child is now an adult and his/her privacy should be respected. If they are still living under your roof you may have to involve them in running the household. This does not mean that you should make them pay rent… letting them buy some groceries, utilities and sometimes pay the water bills will not break a bone.

Gone are the days when you used to have the final say! They are no longer small kids, therefore when having family discussions you will have to listen to what they have to say and respect their ideas. If you do not agree with any of their advices you will have to respectfully talk to them and try to nicely talk them into buying your ideas. Undertaking important issues concerning the family without informing them will definitely drive them away from you!

It reaches a point when your adult child will ask you for a loan. Remember you are their best friend! and they definitely count on you. So how do you go about it? If you are not in a position to help out just be honest about it… they are adults and they will understand. If you can swing it then be transparent about it and inform your other children. This will prevent sibling rivalry. Then set a repayment schedule. By granting them loans you are turning them into very independent people. Parenting adult children is much easier than handling teenagers. Despite their adult status, they will still be your babies, and you should lend a helping hand when needed.