Tag Archives: Reasons

Parenting – 5 Reasons Why Children Misbehave

Children misbehave for a reason and once we understand what that reason is, we’re that much closer to finding a solution to deal with it. Here is a list of some of the most common reasons children misbehave:

1. ATTENTION

Everyone has a basic need to be noticed. If children feel they’re not being noticed they’ll find a way to get our attention and usually acting out is the easiest way. Negative attention is better than nothing. If we’re going about our day, doing our own thing and suddenly we notice our child is off limits in some way, we stop what we’re doing and try and get them to stop. It worked. They got our attention.

2. NEED FOR POWER OR CONTROL

Apart from attention, we also have a basic need to feel we have power and control in our lives. If we don’t feel we have it, we find ways to get it. Children will say “no” just to gain control or they’ll do the opposite of what we’ve asked them to do, for the same reason. They’ll argue with us. They’ll get into a power struggle. If they sense their day is being completely orchestrated by someone else, they’ll find a way to gain back some control.

3. UNCLEAR BOUNDARIES

If children don’t know how far they can go or if rules are vague and inconsistent, many will test to find out exactly where the boundaries are. There is a conversation in their head that goes something like this: “I wonder if I do this, I’ll get into trouble” or “The last time I did this, no one said anything. I think I’ll try it again and see what happens” or “I’m not sure what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m going to find out for myself.”

4. ANGER AND HOSTILITY IN THE HOME

Children are extremely sensitive to everything going on around them. If parents are continually fighting in front of their kids or the tension is so intense it can be felt by everyone, all those feelings are picked up. They will also pick up if we’re distracted by something that is bothering us. It makes children feel insecure and fearful. Those feelings translate into anger. Their hostile behaviour may be a direct reflection of what they’re picking up at home.

5. PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT

Young children will act out when they’re tired or hungry. Many older children will as well but they’re better able to recognize the signs. It’s very easy to over-stimulate a young child by doing too many activities in one day. They can get into a state of stimulation overload which makes most people, including children, irritable. Some can handle more activities than others so it’s important to know your child’s threshold.

Homeschooling Children with Autism: 5 Reasons Why It Works

As a homeschooling parent of a child with autism, I am often asked, “How do you do it?” It takes dedication, planning, and research, of course, but I find that it is not all that difficult when I remember why I do it.

There are 5 primary reasons why homeschooling is the best option for my child:

1. One-to-one instruction provides for optimal learning.

It is a generally-accepted educational principle that the lower the teacher-to-student ratio, the more effective the teaching can be. Most parents realize that the more students a teacher has, the less attention and direct instruction each student will receive from the teacher. One-to-one instruction is always preferred for private lessons or tutoring because the lessons can be customized to the student’s ability in order to maximize their progress in the shortest amount of time.

Homeschooling or private tutoring offers a child with autism the opportunity to make the most of their learning potential. The child receives more direct instruction time, immediate feedback, and teaching that is tailored to their learning style and strengths. Due to the individualized instruction he or she receives, the child with autism is able to experience success on a daily basis which helps improve their self-esteem. Feelings of success are something that many children with autism do not experience in a typical school setting.

2. The environment can be adapted to the child’s sensory needs.

In a home setting, it is much easier to control the learning environment. Unlike a classroom situation where other students can be a big distraction from learning, homeschooling parents can structure an environment that is best suited to their child’s needs. Whether it is a quiet room, special lighting, background music, or breaks for sensory issues, the home can be an ideal educational setting.

3. Homeschooling offers flexible scheduling.

With fewer distractions and more direct instruction, home-schooled students require less of their time to be spent on schoolwork. There is no time wasted on the taking of attendance, class announcements, student reprimands, repetitive teaching on a subject the student has already mastered, etc.

The school day can also be planned around the child’s best time for learning. Some children with autism are “night-owls” by nature and have a difficult time going to bed early and getting up early for school. We can adjust our hours of instruction to correspond with the times that the child is naturally most alert and able to focus. We can also schedule shorter learning sessions throughout the day with plenty of breaks as needed. Shorter sessions also promote greater intensity and concentration on academic tasks resulting in the child retaining more of the material being taught.

Most parents quickly realize that another benefit of homeschooling is the fact that you can plan field trips during the week when places are less crowded. This is a big advantage for children with autism who may not do well with large groups of people.

4. The child has a better opportunity for positive socialization.

All socialization is not beneficial for our children. In schools, you must take the bad with the good. In a home setting, parents have more say in determining when their children are ready for specific social situations. For more on the topic of schools and socialization, see my article entitled, “Social Skills and Autism – Where’s the Best Place for Socialization?”

5. The child’s interests can be incorporated into their schoolwork.

Anything that your child is interested in can form the basis for their studies. In homeschooling circles, this is referred to as unit studies. You take any topic of interest and design a complete educational program around that topic. This approach works well for reluctant learners who say that school is boring.

For my family, homeschooling is a great time-saver that allows us to focus our attention on constructive social opportunities, educational field trips, and practical daily living skills. We don’t have to worry about which teacher our child is going to have every year nor do we have to spend most of the year trying to help the teacher “get to know” our child and their needs. We don’t have to fight the school district for services or for the correct implementation of services that were promised. We don’t have to waste our time going back and forth to school or to school-related meetings. Simply put, homeschooling offers my son with autism a method of instruction that works efficiently and effectively to enable him to achieve his highest potential.